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if i now oversleep and miss the morrissey ticket sale or the first lectures of the academic year at my new uni because of a petty tumblr argument……. it’s entirely my own fault and just goes to show how little control i generally manage to have over my life


it’s so bizarre that gay marriage is heteronormative but bi/pan people in straight relationships is apparently the definition of queer

so what if i’m one of the people that ‘loveeee “gold star gays”’?

heteropatriarchy hates them already for shaking up its foundations by managing to escape that which is supposed to be inevitable. homophobes hate them already for doing the literal opposite of what they want. queers hate them already for whatever reason.

i’m going to love myself, because who else will?

http://kuunakullanvalkeana.tumblr.com/post/96398127860/victoryrd-kuunakullanvalkeana-i-want-a-book →




I want a book about a girl who falls in love with another girl and doesn’t have a crisis because she thought she was straight but because she knows what other people will think. I want her crush to have never kissed boys, and I want a film where she…

jfc ok you seem to share a lot of sentiment with people that loveeee “gold star gays” but alright alright i misspoke

i fit the definition of “gold star gay” and i don’t hate myself, what’s your problem with it? it has nothing to do with looking down on anyone else, it’s a personal matter. i wrote this post for all the young (and old) lesbians who feel desperate because there’s this enormous pressure to “try” men to begin with and they feel like they’ll have to give a chance to heterosexuality at some point in their lives, just to be sure, even though the idea terrifies them because that’s the only narrative we’re offered about being a lesbian. i’ve never slept with a man and i’ve never dated one, but i’ve yet to find a relatable fictional lesbian character whose story wouldn’t include romantic or sexual relationships with men in some form. that’s pretty frustrating.



I want a book about a girl who falls in love with another girl and doesn’t have a crisis because she thought she was straight but because she knows what other people will think. I want her crush to have never kissed boys, and I want a film where she doesn’t kiss boys either. I want to read a story about a woman who is not “experimenting” or “confused”, and I want a movie where she doesn’t “try” men. I want to open the television and see a lesbian couple not consisting of two long-haired, young, white women who wear heels and make-up, one blonde, one brunette for diversity. I want a TV series where neither of them has a husband or a fiancé. I want to be able to google the author and not find out that she is now married to a man. I want to read a biography without learning about the man whom she had an affair with when she was young. I want stories about women who have never had boyfriends. I want a movie where she doesn’t “go back to boys”, or sleep with a man in an emotional turmoil, or die.

I want all of this, more of this, not because I would think some women are better than others, but because if I had wanted stories about heterosexuality, I would have picked another book. Another movie. Any movie.

this sounds a lot like bi erasure / phobia tbh

No one is taking bi authors away from you, nor is anyone saying that you can’t enjoy literature and films about bi women. Those things can be all great and good for you, but this post was about literature and film for lesbians. It’s not bi erasure to say that lesbians have different experiences, and it’s not bi erasure to wish that those experiences were depicted too. If you really think it’s biphobic of lesbians to want stories that reflect their lives and assure them that heterosexuality is not an inevitable part of a woman’s life, maybe try being less self-centered and less homophobic just for a day or something. You might learn a lot.

it’s weird that if something was published in 2000 i think it’s relatively recent

but it’s been 14 years

I mean, most of the straight girls I know are actually pretty chill, while the dudes are super "no homo omg." I'd say like, 9/10 straight dudes are homophobic and like 6/10 straight girls are, if you include the ignorant-but-"well-meaning homophobia. Idk. Maybe i just have good not-a-homophobe-dar, but all the straight girls I've told/talked to about the topic are really chill about it. They aren't perfect, and sometimes they're ignorant as fuck, but they aren't as aggressively hateful about it.


Definitely not in my experience, and apparently also according to some stats/study/etc (does anyone have a link to that one?). The less gender conforming you are, the worse they are to you, too. Idk your gender conformity and exact orientation, but keep in mind that the more you fit gendered expectations, the more acceptable you are. I also found there is a distinct difference in hostility whether I was calling myself bi at the time, or now that I call myself a lesbian. Also, whenever I come out to a (relatively decent) straight girl now, I always get the, “Oh, well, it’s good you’re not one of those bull dykes! You know, the super butch ones?” 

Here’s a couple free-access studies:

Raja and Stokes (1999): Heterosexual men and women were equally likely to be homophobic towards lesbians, but the types of homophobia were different.

Polimeni et al. (2000): Heterosexual women (and men) who held feminist beliefs regarding gender roles still scored high levels of homophobia. Heterosexual women were as homophobic towards lesbians as heterosexual men were towards gay men.

Hi, I read your answer to the person talking about "femme" and I was honestly wondering, if you can use "femme"/"butch" for bisexual/pansexual/asexual women, or is it only for lesbians?

they’re for lesbians

like these are literally the first sentences of my answers regarding the topic:

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morrissey is coming to finland (if there won’t be a change of mind…) and the tickets cost almost 80 fucking €


that fact that revenge porn and leaking of women’s nudes exists at the same time as the readily accessible porn industry is an explicit example of the ways in which women are viewed as sex objects for male consumption. when men are denied the right to our bodies, they steal it. having access to porn literally anywhere at any time for free still doesn’t stop them. to them, it’s their god given right to access women’s bodies at their whim and when we refuse we’re punished for it.

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