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I came here from your breathplay post and eventually started reading a ton of your blog. I was interested in choking during sex, should i not do it? I know youre an ex kinkster, what are your experiences with it?


Holy lord please DO NOT DO THE THING.

it might sound interesting, but it’s interesting in the way car crashes cause rubbernecking. It’s DANGEROUS.

Note those caps, cause I mean them.

Okay, I’m gonna walk you through something. Take your dominant (Ha!) hand, and place it on your throat. For most people, that’s their right hand. So now, what do we have?

Feel that thudding under your thumb? That’s your carotid and jugular arteries. They carry blood to your brain. Pressure there can cause dizziness, or more seriously, can constrict the blood vessels, which can have some side effects you don’t want, including:

Arterial collapse, cardiac arrest, and cumulative brain damage

All really, really shitty things.

Now look at where your hand goes. The curve between thumb and index finger should fit just under your chin. Give a little squeeze, just to test it out.

Doesn’t feel so good, does it? That’s because there’s a bone that you’re pressing on there. It’s the hyoid, a slender and delicate u-shaped bone that forms the anchor points for muscles in the neck. If that fractures (as it can do from even a minimum of force), it can do some considerable damage. If it breaks entirely, a shard can easily puncture the trachea and epiglottis, which goes from “sexy afternoon” to “emergency surgery” very quickly.

You should feel a little weirder now, after doing that. Try it again. Feel that lack of air, a slight suggestion of vertigo? That’s what happens when you compress the trachea—without air flowing through your windpipe on each inhale, there’s no oxygen in your blood and you get the “head rush” characteristic of breath play.

What that rush is is actually your brain starting to require oxygen. Keep it up, or compress harder, and now your brain becomes hypoxic; when we see this in high altitude mountain climbers, they become discombobulated, disoriented, lose critical thinking functions, high motor and language skills and lose a sense of risk measurement (which is what keeps them alive). The symptoms in this context are very similar. You won’t experience them, because you haven’t compressed your trachea for long enough, but imagine a man’s heavy hand there, pushing down with force, and suddenly you see why that presents a problem.

And that’s not even taking into consideration the fact that pressure can damage the trachea, causing it to collapse. You don’t need a lot of pressure to accomplish this, and even a sharp, sudden (and relatively light) strike to the trachea can cause severe distress.

For example, I got head-butted accidentally by my fifteen pound little dog. It took me about five minutes to work through the pain (and given the topic, rest assured, my threshold is
/very/ high), and about another half hour before it stopped hurting to breathe and swallow.

That’s with no force whatsoever. Imagine, again, the psi that comes into play when someone starts thrusting and adding forward movement using your throat as leverage.

It’s just a bad show. I was in the scene for about eight years. I started when I had to use a falsie to get into some of these events. Not once in those eight years, did I EVER see anyone endorse breathplay as a safe or healthy thing to do. I have seen some shit, and that? Was never some of it.

So what does it say, to you, when a man who’s comfortable poking a woman through with needles til she looks like a porcupine, won’t put his hand, or anything other than a collar, near her throat?

Look, I’m not your mom and I’m not your auntie, but I hope you take my words in the spirit they’re offered.

Do NOT do the thing. It’s dangerous, and one of these days, someone’s gonna get killed doing it.

straight couple: *make out in public at random intervals in weird places*
straight couple: *grabs each other's asses in public*
straight couple: *are not in any way inconspicuous about the fact that they are feeling each other up in public*
gay couple: *holds hands in public*
straight people: that is VILE and it is CORRUPTING my entire FAMILY. my grandmother is crying. my children have all shit their pants at the same time. WHO WILL THINK OF THE CHILDREN



straight ppl are wild why you needa make out in the line for juice

straight ppl like to make out in stupid spots and then get all weird abt it like “i kissed you in the frozen food section at super walmart i am the reason storms are named after people”

Your hate for the wealthy really annoys me.


how much you got in your bribery budget because I would be willing to keep silent


everyone wants to be kweer but nobody actually wants to be the “partnered in a relationship that’s perceived as gay and treated at such” part

i saw a straight couple put fingers in each other’s mouths. on the bus. it wasn’t even 9:30 pm yet. why


i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get the towel damp 3. put it on the lid and twist. BAM now men are completely useless. you, too, can open a jar. time to get a divorce

five border crossings and zero passport checks later this italian hostel owner wants to see our IDs

we’ve got from finland to italy and no one has checked our passports or IDs yet

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